The following is a list composed by author and psychiatrist Dr. Charles Whitfield M.D. comprising the essential needs of children from the moment of birth, that must be met by parent or guardian; so that they can grow into a secure, self actualized adult with strong mental health.

1. Survival
2. Safety
3. Touching, skin contact
4. Attention
5. Empathy
6. Mirroring and echoing
7. Guidance
8. Listening
9. Being real
10. Participating
11. Acceptance: Others are aware of, take seriously and admire the Real You, tolerance of your feelings, freedom to be the Real You, validation, respect, belonging and love.
12. Opportunity to grieve losses and to grow
13. Support
14. Loyalty and trust
15. Accomplishment: Mastery, “power” “control”, Creativity, Having a sense of completion, Making a contribution
16. Altering one’s state of consciousness, transcending the ordinary
17. Sexuality (being male, being female)
18. Enjoyment or fun
19. Freedom
20. Nurturing
21. Unconditional love

Maslow, 1962; Miller, 1981; Weil, 1973; Glasser, 1985